Most of us at some point have shared an “unspoken
prayer request” with a Christian friend or in our church. In almost any church
prayer time in virtually every church, someone will have that prayer request
that they do not want to share publicly. These become the “Unspoken Requests”.
I have often referred to them as those things which lay on the back of our hearts
that are so ultimately personal that we dare not even mention them. My pastor
and great friend recently challenged me on whether the concept is actually
Biblical. I had to admit that I really hadn’t thought much about it. Of all the
study I’ve done of the Scripture and on various topics this one wasn’t even on
my radar. It was simply one of those traditions we’ve just always done without
questioning. Well my brother sparked that “need to know” inside me, so I found
myself digging in.
It was no shock to find out that Scripture is silent
on the issue. Let me suggest a few things at the outset. There are no Biblical
examples of anyone who ever requested prayer without divulging what that need
actually was. While there are no Scriptures which show the practice there are
also none that forbid its practice. In a moment we will look at some Scriptural
reasons why using “unspoken requests” may not be such a good idea. So, is it a
Biblically acceptable practice? The answer is both yes and no. The Good news is
that is not wrong or sinful to ask for prayer while withholding the sordid
details. The Bad news is that this type of praying is not likely to achieve
results, and I think you’ll have to agree later.
It would seem that since the Bible is silent on the
issue, the next logical question would be, why even do it? Why speak up in a
church or other public setting and say to them, “I have an unspoken
request.” Obviously there are a lot of
issues which take place in the lives of the believers that do not need to be hashed
out in public. I really don’t want to know about dear sweet Julie’s bladder
infection. There are sins which if made public would do more damage to the body
of Christ than any good that telling it might achieve. What is ironical to say
the least is that in using the concept of an unspoken prayer request we often
defeat our own purpose. We attempt to reach out to our brothers and sisters
about our needs, all the while, not giving the gossips anything concrete to
talk about. In reality all we are doing is giving them something to wonder
about. I wonder what’s wrong with her. What did He do? Let’s put it in terms of
sinful behavior. If I ask for unspoken prayer, the implication is there. I may
just as well have said, “Guys I’m kind of stupid and I need your prayer, but I
don’t want you to know how stupid I really am.” At the same time I say these
things I also understand that it is so often the unspoken requests that we need
prayer and support in the most. They most often represent things in our lives that we do
not feel comfortable sharing with any one. They are the hurts, trials,
struggles and even the sins that harm us the most, and there is no one with
whom we can share. They remain burdens that we carry alone, so we ask for
general unspecific prayer, knowing that God already knows our need. In fact it
could be said that if we pray for one another as we are told to do, then we
pray for unspoken requests almost daily. Ephesians 6:18 and I Timothy 2:1 are a
couple examples of the command to pray for everyone, but I do not know what
those people need. I pray for my pastor and church leaders and while I
understand from experience more about their needs than the average church
member, I really don’t know what they each need in their lives.
I would be remiss if I failed to point out a few
problems you get into with invoking the unspoken request. Galatians 6:2
commands us to bear one another’s burdens. This is impossible if we do not know
what the burden is that we are carrying. If you ask me to carry your baggage I
would like to have some idea of what is in it first. We cannot be vessels to
meet needs that we do not know exist. Jesus said that if at least two of us
agree on anything we would receive it. Matt 18:19 Can we agree on things we
know nothing about? It is certain that when we come to the church for healing
prayer we cannot hold anything back. There can be no secrets. James even goes
so far as to say that we should confess our sins to one another. James 5:16 I
remember one night while serving as the on-site-director of a local homeless
shelter, a man showed up in my office. I knew him well. He had floated in and
out for a while, and admittedly I liked this guy. This particular night He was
beaten and bloody. I had never seen him like this. I wanted to take him to the
emergency room, but he refused. There had apparently been drinking and possibly some
drugs that led to a fight that night, and He was afraid the doctors would call
the police. He refused healing help that night because He feared possible consequences.
We miss out on so many blessings, and many times forfeit our healing, because
we withhold our true selves from the people who are supposed to care the most.
Is it Biblical? It is not in the sense that we are
given command, or example of it. Is it wrong to do? It is not in the sense that
Scripture forbids it. We do a lot of good things which Scripture is silent on.
Scripture does not tell us how often to have church services, but I tend to
gravitate to the ones who still hold three a week. Scripture does not speak of
a series of meetings called a revival, but it is still one of the best
evangelistic tools we have. Continue to use the unspoken request when it is
appropriate, but let it become rare. Never let it be a wall behind which we
hide our true selves. When we do, we deny ourselves the support we need so much,
and we are denying Godly people the opportunity to come along with us to bear
those burdens.
